


The Cursed Curry

by SaraJaye



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Anthy Being Sneaky, Anthy's Scary Cooking, F/M, Fairy Tale Style, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Kiss To Save The Day, Love Confessions, Tiny Kozue Sleeping In Utena's Pocket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 19:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3261008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The handsome prince Miki Kaoru has been paralyzed by the Rose Bride's strange curry, and only a kiss from a beautiful fencer can save him! Will Juri make it in time? Of course she will, she's motherfucking Juri Arisugawa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cursed Curry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cypsiman2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypsiman2/gifts).



Once upon a time, about a week ago, there was a handsome pianist. There was also a beautiful princess he enjoyed spending time with who unfortunately wasn't much of a cook. Actually, her attempts to make anything but snack foods had...interesting results.

She'd made her curry that evening, and when it didn't explode the group consisting of the pianist and his twin sister, the princess, her girl-prince and the princess's pet monkey mouse happily dug in, figuring it was safe. But alas, it was not to be.

Utena's skin turned bright orange. Anthy's hair turned into a bird's nest, complete with actual birds. Kozue shrank down to pocket size. Chu-Chu grew to human size. And Miki, poor Miki suffered the worst of all through a terrible paralysis! He was awake, but could barely move a muscle for all the aches and static shock coursing through him.

"Oh, dear," Anthy said a bit too nonchalantly, "I must have added too much saffron this time." The birds on her head gave no response, they were too busy eating the leaves on her head.

"Do something!" yelled the tiny Kozue from Utena's pocket. "If you don't rescue my brother I won't forgive you, you dumb girl!"

"Calm down, Kozue," Utena said, petting the girl's hair with her fingertip. Kozue grumbled, but soon calmed down from the betting. The human-sized Chu-Chu offered no help at all, he was too busy ransacking the pantry for dessert. "I think I know what to do. Anthy, keep an eye on Miki while I go to the fencing arena." She dashed off, Kozue squealing as she enjoyed the ride in Utena's pocket.

Anthy did as Utena said, taking the occasional break to make sure her pet didn't eat everything in the kitchen. Moments later, Utena returned with the flame-haired fencing captain. A "prince" of a different sort, if you will.

"He's over there!"

Juri rushed over to the bed where Miki lay writhing and moaning in agony as the cursed curry's effect surged through his veins. In his haze of pain, though, he recognized the bright orange curls and vibrant green eyes of his captain and not-so-secret crush.

"M...Miss Juri..."

Juri just shook her head and sighed worriedly, placing a hand on his wrist to feel his pulse.

"I thought you learned last time never to eat the Rose Bride's cooking," she scolded gently. "Just because it doesn't explode doesn't mean it isn't dangerous." Anthy lowered her head sadly.

"I'm so sorry, Miki." Whether she meant it or not was a mystery because one could never tell what Anthy's thinking. She was a complicated girl, no one understood her but her monkey-mouse. Though Utena sure tried. "If it helps, there is a fast cure for this sort of thing."

"There is?" Kozue squeaked, still nestled in Utena's pocket. By now she was pretty comfy, which kind of scared her because it wasn't like she and Utena were friends or anything. "For all of us?"

"Well, yes and no. For Kozue, Miss Utena, Chu-Chu and I, we simply need to drink a glass of milk laced with a drop of lime juice and a single petal from a daisy. Miki's condition, on the other hand, requires something...more in-depth."

"Oh?" Juri cocked an eyebrow. "Tell me how to cure Miki first, then. The rest of you seem to be handling things well enough." Utena wasn't even fazed by her orange skin, and the birds were singing cute little songs from their nest on Anthy's head. And Kozue had decided to take a nap in her pocket-home.

Anthy just smiled, gestured towards the writhing pianist, and then the worried fencing captain.

"A kiss from the woman he loves, of course!" Everyone gasped, Juri especially.

"But...that's you, isn't it, Himemiya?" Anthy only kept smiling.

"Time is of the essence, Miss Juri," she said sweetly. Juri, more concerned with saving her dear Miki than with Anthy's strangeness, knelt beside the bed and pressed her lips to Miki's. After a moment she felt him relax as the spell began to wear off...and then, he responded, tangling his fingers in her hair and wrapping an arm around her waist.

Anthy knew something she'd chosen not to discuss among a crowd, and Utena just shrugged it off as yet another one of the Bride's "secrets". Kozue was too busy sleeping to comment, and when Miki and Juri broke from the kiss they were both blushing, him more than her.

"You saved my life, Miss Juri," he said, a bit breathlessly. "Does this mean..."

"I guess neither of us are that good at being discreet after all," Juri said. "You've always been my favorite protegé for reasons other than your skill."

"And...and you've always been my favorite captain for the same reasons!"

The new couple embraced happily, and Anthy hummed to herself as she concocted the cure for the rest of them. A small part of her almost wished Miss Utena had fallen victim to the paralysis instead.

_I'll just have to make this same curry another night when it's just the two of us!_


End file.
